Mars

Maybe I'm amazed

" The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise -- with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country. "  - Abraham Lincoln

I was thinking of becoming a teacher. I mean since I hate our education system so much, I might as well terrorize it from the inside. 

X

Mars

Mars

I have the most amazing friends in the world,

I miss you ella, I FINALLY GOT MY LAPTOP BACK! 

x

INDONESIAN RAWKZZ

hi!
i'm like in indonesia now staying at my bestfriend's house, grace.
marisse, you should meet grace when you're in indonesia, she's damn nice and retarded just like you hahahaha
i had a lot of fun this whole week and....finally i met the love of my life! haha LEANDER! :D
*smooch*









see you soon love!
xx
Ella.

Mars

On Death: 

The moment before the epilogue, the end all of everything, destruction at it is best, right after the curtain call, I always shut my ears. 

That split second, your final breath and to the point of no return. 

It'd always be speechless.

I am perplexed how the cinema always paints it out to be so beautiful.

When in actual fact it is always so darn tragic.

Therese was talking about the laws of balance yesterday.

Pain never really goes away it just kinds of relocates itself. 

I'm starting to be more open to suicide not that I'm capable of it. 

I'm against it but I guess people have their reasons.

I just caught "he was a quiet man" and I guess suicide can actually be logical.

Goodnight

Ella

Dear Marisse,
I just want to say (of course not in a lesbian way hahaha) that i always touched everytime you say you love me.
Yeah..we won't be classmates again after this one more week but i know we will always be friends. i know I've known you only like around 8 months but I did share alot of things with you and you always accept me as who i am and encourage me and make me better everytime i feel insecure and sad. thank you. i love you always. :)

xo
Ella.

Mars

Hello world wide web. 

I'm an extremely happy person right now. 

I mean sure I do have my moods and everything but that's cause of stress from deadlines.

But I'm so happy with my life, who I am and the people in it right now. 

There's a possibility that people say their happy to reassure themselves but not for me.

I was looking at photographs from 2006 and I spent 3 hours sitting on an icebox outside 711 with Gwen just talking.

And it hit me, there isn't anything wrong with me. I always knew what I want.

All the uncertainties in the past they all came from insecurities and the doubt that constantly filled my mind.

I always thought there was something wrong with me 

like how come I've never been in a relationship or why I don't have as much sex 

Or any for that matter like a lot of other people. 

And I know now that it's because I always knew what I wanted and never could let myself settle for less.

And the times I did, It only always made me unhappy.

A month ago I felt confused and frustrated because I felt like there's no absolute in this world.

and someone told me it was temporary and I guess he was right. 

Cause when I remove the structure I've built in my mind and take a step back for a breather. 

I'm absolutely certain about me.I know I'm real. 

Some people take forever to get to where I am, I just count myself lucky. 

As for now, I'm going to embark on a journey for hardship for the next 3 to 5 years and honestly, it's okay.

Heaven can wait. 

Because I'm my idea of happy, are you?

Pieces of the things I love : 

XX

PS.

Ella can't wait to sit on a field with you and relax!
I'll read you the little prince! with expressions and everything!
I love you