Ella

hello!
---------------------------------------
Still have 1 month left to the 2nd year of school for us. I'm proud of all of you guys for all you've done in our 1st year.
I'm making some watercolor drawings now, yeah..I'm in love with watercolor since around january 2010 :)
I feel like become farther away from everything I have and everyone I love,
Yes, but I know I don't and I won't.
In my heart.
life gets hard,
time goes faster,
everyone grows older,
and they won't listen.
everything's too beautiful to be thrown away,
i wish i do not have to choose.

i miss you marisse.

xx
Ella.

Mars

A thousand years into the sun

and it seems like everything is coming undone

The things we love but take for granted 

Might soon be gone and all forgotten. 

Perhaps the time for change is now

Circumstances have shown that it's never too late somehow

One day I woke up and fell in love with the world

But maybe it's because I'm just an ignorant 19 year old girl.

X

MARS

Mars

Hello Ella!

So I spend most of my days doing art, working, reading & hanging out with a 12 year old.

Life cannot get any better than this.

I miss you 

and will write soon

x

Mars

Ella

so.......



yea..

Mars

Maybe I'm amazed

" The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise -- with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country. "  - Abraham Lincoln

I was thinking of becoming a teacher. I mean since I hate our education system so much, I might as well terrorize it from the inside. 

X

Mars

Mars

I have the most amazing friends in the world,

I miss you ella, I FINALLY GOT MY LAPTOP BACK! 

x

INDONESIAN RAWKZZ

hi!
i'm like in indonesia now staying at my bestfriend's house, grace.
marisse, you should meet grace when you're in indonesia, she's damn nice and retarded just like you hahahaha
i had a lot of fun this whole week and....finally i met the love of my life! haha LEANDER! :D
*smooch*









see you soon love!
xx
Ella.

Mars

On Death: 

The moment before the epilogue, the end all of everything, destruction at it is best, right after the curtain call, I always shut my ears. 

That split second, your final breath and to the point of no return. 

It'd always be speechless.

I am perplexed how the cinema always paints it out to be so beautiful.

When in actual fact it is always so darn tragic.

Therese was talking about the laws of balance yesterday.

Pain never really goes away it just kinds of relocates itself. 

I'm starting to be more open to suicide not that I'm capable of it. 

I'm against it but I guess people have their reasons.

I just caught "he was a quiet man" and I guess suicide can actually be logical.

Goodnight

Ella

Dear Marisse,
I just want to say (of course not in a lesbian way hahaha) that i always touched everytime you say you love me.
Yeah..we won't be classmates again after this one more week but i know we will always be friends. i know I've known you only like around 8 months but I did share alot of things with you and you always accept me as who i am and encourage me and make me better everytime i feel insecure and sad. thank you. i love you always. :)

xo
Ella.

Mars

Hello world wide web. 

I'm an extremely happy person right now. 

I mean sure I do have my moods and everything but that's cause of stress from deadlines.

But I'm so happy with my life, who I am and the people in it right now. 

There's a possibility that people say their happy to reassure themselves but not for me.

I was looking at photographs from 2006 and I spent 3 hours sitting on an icebox outside 711 with Gwen just talking.

And it hit me, there isn't anything wrong with me. I always knew what I want.

All the uncertainties in the past they all came from insecurities and the doubt that constantly filled my mind.

I always thought there was something wrong with me 

like how come I've never been in a relationship or why I don't have as much sex 

Or any for that matter like a lot of other people. 

And I know now that it's because I always knew what I wanted and never could let myself settle for less.

And the times I did, It only always made me unhappy.

A month ago I felt confused and frustrated because I felt like there's no absolute in this world.

and someone told me it was temporary and I guess he was right. 

Cause when I remove the structure I've built in my mind and take a step back for a breather. 

I'm absolutely certain about me.I know I'm real. 

Some people take forever to get to where I am, I just count myself lucky. 

As for now, I'm going to embark on a journey for hardship for the next 3 to 5 years and honestly, it's okay.

Heaven can wait. 

Because I'm my idea of happy, are you?

Pieces of the things I love : 

XX

PS.

Ella can't wait to sit on a field with you and relax!
I'll read you the little prince! with expressions and everything!
I love you

Ella

Hi! Hello! Good evening Everyone! :)
I already finished all my final works for my assessment. YES! FINALLY! I'm very happy, because final works were distracting my bedtimes for this past two weeks!

Yesterday photoshoot in Photography class was really fun! Marisse, Chloe, Fariz and everyone came to the studio and made some noise hahaha.
Li Yan dressed up as a Mine, Chloe is very cute like a baby, Marisse is Mental and dressed up pretty weird, Ivon is a real joker and Fariz, he is a total retard.











I LOVE EVERYONE! ^_^


xo
Ella.

Elllllla

ONE WEEK TO HELL TWO WEEKS TO HEAVEN BITCHES!!!!!

!@#$%^&*%$#%@$!# Ella

i just realized i'm not such a good blogger hahahahahahaha
i am lazy and always dont know what to write. well at least i tried

assessment makes me stressed out, i hope i can loose weight for the sight effect tho. haha

percentage of possibility of things that i am thinking now:
5% europe trip. sucks
90% go to indonesia with marisse (cant wait)
70% finish all my work by sunday (yearite)
95% become leander's wife haha
75% nothing will happen on my birthday
50% got A for at least 2 subjects hahahaha
100% loving leander
100% loving God, my family and friends
80% going to sleep now
99% is my macbook battery now haha

whatevs.
good night mother earth!

xo
Ella.

Mars

I feel like a coffee, cigarettes, a track list of songs that have been in my recently played list itunes likes to call and probably entitle the list zen (which by the way I'm totally not and am at the same time which over writes the being zen part) and lying on grass in a pre-determined place right about....now. Sighhh, 9 more days to actual existence! Goodbye Singapore and Helloooooo Worldddddd ( ok! ok! just indonesia ) X

Ps. 

I wish my mum would stop watching television so I can finish my essay already. 

God! So much information to absorb so little energy capacity!

Mars

This pretty much sums up everything I feel right now

"Dreams, memories, the sacred--they are all alike in that they are beyond our grasp. Once we are even marginally separated from what we can touch, the object is sanctified; it acquires the beauty of the unattainable, the quality of the miraculous. Everything, really, has this quality of sacredness, but we can desecrate it at a touch. How strange man is! His touch defiles and yet he contains the source of miracles."  - Yukio Mishima

You know what I feel about this year?

It feels like my mind is finally awake. 

And you know what being in love with someone who isn't the right one does to you? 

It puts you in a stand still.

So move along when you know it's wrong. 

X

Mars

Mars

I'm so tired from all the work cause we're having assessment now

so momentarily busy with life 

But for the first time, I'm so happy and comfortable with where I'm at.

I sound so dramatic but it's exactly how I feel.

I've something worth fighting and working hard for.

and at the end of the day I always feel so accomplished.

I've been having one of those months now where I feel like I'm rapidly changing.

I asked my mum the other day if there was ever at point in her life where she was learning things so fast because I've been feeling so inspired lately that I wonder if I'm just being dramatic.

But I guess since it's been lasting for months it isn't drama really. It's probably change.

Today when I looked at a photo of myself, I noticed that my face has sort of changed.

It's subtle but it's there.

How completely strange. 

 I'm usually oblivious to these kinds of things because half the time my mind is somewhere else.

I also notice how I haven't been paying attention to a lot of people lately.

I just get so flustered sometimes.

Like Ella, I don't mean to take you for granted sometimes.

It's just so much absorbing to do and so minimal capacity, I feel like I could implode.

I could almost here you calling me dramatic! haha!

But I like how we all laugh so much. 

I'm sad how this is all for the moment.

I don't want it to ever end. 

Because school makes me happy.

Art makes me happy.

My friends make me happy.

I make me happy.

Cause I guess at this moment I = Art + Friends + Music & Too much coffee. 

and of course, family. Something I need to work on.

God, sometimes I wonder how I can become so detached so quickly.

and about my equation, I think I made sense...

Anyhow!I learned something in greek today. 

δοκέω pronounced as Do-Keo.

which means " to think, to imagine, to suppose."

Life is good.

X

Mars

Jian Yao's ( Our painting teacher ) Kids!

Ella's Caravaggio master copy in the making!

Mine still at it's second layer.

Us becoming zombies.

Kc and I when I forgot to shave my face.

Ivon's bear

Clare!

Hungrymonstars! Can't wait for June!

ok gotta do my history essay now, ciao!

Ella

I am so in love with this short aimation video! Enjoy! :)


PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN.
Uploaded by onemoreprod. - Discover more animation and arts videos.

xo

Ella

Ella

Hi!
ahh it's been a long time since i wrote on this blog last time...

Anyway,
Me and Marisse went to Marc Jacobs launch party yesterday.
It was quite boring..
I didn't know many ppl there.
One thing that made me happy last night was the Marc Jacobs' Mascot (the one that shown on the balloon) hehe..
It's SUPER cute!








this is Audrey, i knew her through Marisse. She's nice :)


and this is denise, she's Audrey's bestfriend. she's cute and friendly and cheerful! :)



Sometimes I can't control my bad temper.
Like just now I was fucking angry with someone that I know for a very long time, I was like hitting the door and kicking my shoes and I felt like take a knife and stab it to someone.
Shit man, this is bad.
Real bad.
I don't want to be that kind of person.
Oh God, forgive me.

Today I finished one still life painting.
Not bad, but not good.. I'll show you the painting next time! :P

Well... Have a nice weekend guys! :)

LOVE PEACE AND KARATE PUNCH!
xo

Ella.